A Happy Marriage

I went to the wedding of a grandniece and her fiancée yesterday. They were both starry-eyed and radiant. When you are at the beginning of the marriage road, it looks like a fairy-tale trip.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person (Mignon McLaughlin)

As I waited for the wedding to begin, I reflected on my own marriage—fifty-four years and counting. A fairy-tale isn’t the way I would describe it now. We have had happy times, busy times, desperate times, alone times, pulling-together times, and everything in between. We are both committed to make our marriage work.

Here are some ideas that have helped us keep it happy:

Be kind.

If you feel angry, take a time out and discuss the problem the next day. No one needs to be right or wrong! Find a compromise.

Allow each other to become the very best.

I am grateful my husband has encouraged me to pursue my love of writing. He supports me in every way—including a critique group one night a week. I do the same for him. Allow your spouse to spread their wings and fly.

Enjoy activities together.

We love to play games together—and now we include our children and grandchildren. We love summer vacations in the mountains, riding horses and cooking over a camp fire.

Worship together.
Develop your faith together. Pray together, sing together, worship together, no matter what your religion or your cultural ideals. Live a life style that will accommodate both your beliefs.

Be honest.

If I’m bugged about something, I need to talk about it. Frank, open discussions have helped us survive.

Have alone time.

My husband loves golf, and I don’t. It’s perfect for us. I can go to lunch with my friends or work on my latest manuscript while he’s teeing off.

Give more than you get.

My husband has just come out of an intensive surgery and recovery in the ICU. He’s recuperating slowly, and he’s required lots of care and sacrifice on my part. I’m happy to give it because I know if the tables are reversed, he will do the same for me.

A happy marriage is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one’s companion. (Gordon B. Hinckley)