Building self confidence is something we all want to do. But
sometimes the negative voice inside our
heads over-powers the positive. Here are a few secrets to keeping ourselves on
the confident side of life.
1. Thinking
creates feeling
If I want to feel positive and build my self confidence, I
have to have positive thoughts. Even if I'm in a bad mood, I can change my
feelings by listening to some of my favorite music, looking for the positive in
my life, and giving gratitude for my surroundings.
2. Everyone
needs to write his or her their own mantras.
We can use generic thoughts and quotes from wise sources to
help us feel better, but we are the only ones who know exactly what our
inadequate feelings are.
Margie came into therapy with lots of negative thinking. She
wanted a life-time partner, but had been unable to connect with anyone. Margie's
father had been killed in the jungles of Vietnam when she was a child, and she
felt abandoned.
Here are a couple of mantras she wrote to help herself heal.
* My father will be part of me forever.
*I can still have a loving
relationship with my father in my thoughts.
As she healed, Margie began to see herself with a spouse.
Her mantras included phrases like:
*I deserve to be cared for.
*I am loveable.
*I am worthy of a relationship.
I could tell Margie had her words just right because tears
came to her eyes as she said each phrase. The words spoke to the depths of her
soul. With guidance, Margie's own inner wisdom held the healing power. I am
always humbled as I work with someone like Margie. It reaffirms what I already
know. Healing—true healing—comes from within.
"If you wish to know the road up the mountain, ask the
man who goes back and forth on it." Zebrine
3. Changing
your thinking is a process, not an event.
At first we all get enthused about a project, take the time
to put it together, and then set it aside to go on to something else. If we are
really serious about changing our thinking and our feelings, we have to work at
it. It takes constant effort to bring about change.
We care for our physical bodies on a regular ongoing basis,
what we put into them, how we exercise them, and the way we surround them with
comforts and luxuries. But we sometimes neglect the inside. We must nurture
ourselves internally on a consistent, long-term basis as well.
Write your mantras and say them to yourself daily as part of
your wellness regime.
4. Include
others in your process.
Allow your friends and family to support you as you write
your mantras. Tell them you are only interested in positive energy. They'll
encourage you, and you can reciprocate.
As you find good in yourself and others, you add light to
the world—the greatest gift you can offer life.